Filing.

Over the past four months, I've had to get rid of a lot of stuff. Actually, it began before I left California. As I prepared for this year of adventure in NZ, I got rid of a lot of stuff that I didn't want to bring or store. Wait... it began before that, when we had to clean out the house we grew up in when it was sold. Hold on... I guess this is something that continues as long as we breath. Sometimes it's possible to get away with not sloughing stuff off, but the time inevitably comes when everything has to be reckoned with, and I don't mean Doomsday.

Of late, "getting rid of stuff" doesn't mean physical stuff. As I've been filing at work, Father has been using it as an example, teaching me good things. With filing, He said, "Just as each of these papers has its particular place, so do your memories and emotions that are attached to them." In the solitary hours in the lonely filing room (affectionately known as The Dungeon, where Annoying People are sometimes sent for Solitary Confinement... not that I'm annoying--braving the room is in my job description), I revel in His comforting (though sometimes uncomfortable) presence. He brings up memories that haven't been touched for months or years, and He says, "You've grown up and matured since then; how do you see it now?" We look at it together, amend and/or forgive (if amending and/or forgiveness is necessary), then tidily put it away in its proper place where it can easily be found again when necessary.

It's a very tedious task, as filing papers can be. I get home tired and exhausted, sometimes relieved, sometimes grieving. Because with every memory to be filed away, I have to let it go.

I've been blessed with a very enjoyable life (enjoyable for the most part, anyway), so remembering isn't painful. Saying goodbye to them is.

When will the goodbyes end? I don't think they ever will.

If I ended the post here, I'd be in danger of leaving you and myself depressed. So here's an encouragement:

Just as it's a time of Goodbye, it's also a time of Hello.

I'm making new memories. So are you. We're continuing. We're getting to new horizons. We're discovering more about ourselves, others, and Holy Father! How amazing is that??

This joy of The New keeps me going. I guess we don't need unexplored lands to be pioneers. Just be willing to say Goodbye.