A Step

I've been here before, many times. The point of such pain and discomfort that I can no longer stand it. I fall on my knees and put my forehead to the floor. "Father!" I cry, "What am I to do? Help me! Help me!"


With such gentleness and tenderness that I don't recognize His actions, He leads me back to the place that we fell in love; the place where only He knows me, where He is the only One I see. Sometimes it's through talking with a friend, sometimes it's through a podcast, sometimes it's through music... He's creative and not limited to one thing.

We bask in each other's presence. He romances me and promises protection and faithfulness, and I praise and worship Him. "O, my One! My Savior! My Stability! My Strength!" Here, in this place, is an ocean of peace--a glory that I pant for. How else can I describe it? It reminds me of the eagerness with which I would meet my dad after he returned home from work trips. Only it's more.

Why does this have to happen again? Why can't I stay in this forever? I know He is with me always--why can't I know it as I know it right now?! Why do I reach the limits again and again, falling in the same place and over similar things? When will I get it?!

He answers me, with such gentleness that reaches with keen precision into my heart: "It's another step in the process. Sometimes the steps all look the same as the ones before them, as in a staircase. Though they look like they aren't changing, you're progressing up the staircase, higher and higher. Peace, young one. I see your progress; you just see the step in front of you."


With this calm assurance, I rest.

Good.